Celebrities Sell Watches

There is a distinct art to watch advertisements, you have to draw attention to the watch any way possible, even if that means making some unnatural poses that you wouldn’t normally find yourself in.

Take Kate Winslet, she is a pro, modeling a Longines  watch while rubbing her shoulder and being distracted by a spider running across the carpet. An unusual choice but it works right?

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Another classic watch modeler is James Bond for Omega, he is perminantly adjusting his tie, (don’t think we haven’t noticed) but that way the watch is right in the middle of the photo.

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Hugh Jackman is doing the ‘I’m talking animatedly with my hands.’ trick to subtley draw attention to my watch.

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It is a good job Novak Djokovic is good at tennis because he couldn’t watch model his way out of a small wooden room.

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Darth Vader is the opposite of subtly, while attention is drawn to his wrist (good work DV) his glove is covering up his watch so we can’t actually see it. That mask must really obscure his vision.

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Charlize Theron is doing the classic neck hold, works every time.

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David Beckham is teaming the mid-distance stare with the over the shoulder jacket model look, which works for, watches, outerwear and being intelligent.

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Tag Heuer always go for the aggressive, like my watch or i’ll punch you with it.

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IWC Schaffhausen realised that branding their watch as a a mens watch means they are limiting their potential market by 50%. So they put some famous women in suits and got them to roll their sleeves up.

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Now this one isn’t recent but I thought you’d want to see this watch model from Charlie Sheen, he is doing a reasonable job of getting that watch in the middle of the shot, but exactly why he is playing baseball in the mud on his own (and his sweatshirt is maybe on backwards).

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Jonas Brothers, Disney and the Taylor Swift connection

Now I still struggle with knowing which Jonas is which. The third one is off the grid, so you can forget about him. Nick is the one that always looks confused and has eyebrows that make him look both a little surprised and possibly  constipated at the same time. Joe is the one that is hairier than the other one, yes they both have furry faces but Joe looks like he has to shave twice a day.

But these two have dated a lot of their Disney channel compatriots, who also happen to be friends with or used to be friends with Taylor Swift.This is a new version of six degrees of Kevin Bacon and it involves either having dated or being friends with Taylor Swift (I haven’t decided which it is yet).

Yes Taylor Swift has a reputation for getting through boys as fast as my neighbour gets through Dominos pizza, (Taylor still has more hats than boyfriends though), but have you noticed that Taylor is also starting to collect frenemies too?

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Between Nick and Joe Jonas they managed to work their way through the majority of Disney stars circa 2005-2011, AJ Michalka, Demi Levato, Selena Gomez and Miley Cyrus. There was no stopping them.

And whether by coincidence or if Taylor Swift has some sort of tick list in her purse, wouldn’t you know, she has gifted the same Disney stars with her friendship.

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And it doesn’t end with Disney. Not only has Taylor managed to date Joe, she has also managed to find friendship with other Jonas exes Kendall Jenner and Ashley Greene.

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Not to mention Taylor must have made a friend for life in Gigi Hadid who has managed to do the double and date both, Nick and Joe. (More on Gigi coming soon.)

Unfriended vs Friend Request and the rise of the social media horror movie

Social media gets a lot of stick in the movies, from The Social Network  showing us that the creator of Facebook is a right jerk to evil computers taking over the world in The Matrix but the closet we have to an decent horror about the dangers of the internet is Catfish and that may or may not be a documentary. We have yet to find a good one, but we do have two very similar attempts at a bad one.

Unfriended was released in 2014 and set only on a computer screen, in real time, all interaction between characters takes place this way, skype, facebook, googlemail, every platform gets a lookin. This sounds like it could be a unique idea with potential but the key problem is that none of the characters are likable or show any remorse. In fact the take away message isn’t beware how you treat people or even be careful what you post, it is actually you can lie, cheat, steal, do anything you want as long as you don’t get caught. So you don’t particularly care when the friends start dying.

Friend Request was released in 2016 and is more of a conventionally told horror movie, still not any good though. The vengeful spirit in the laptop this time round is upset that the popular girl doesn’t want to be her friend, despite not knowing anything about them and coming on a bit strong, but it is not really their fault cause they are possessed by a vengeful spirit. The moral of this story is don’t try and be nice and make friends with the emo with alopecia you’ll regret it.

Both movies have similar titles and pretty poor posters to boot.

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With equally similar titles in foreign countries.unfriended

 

Both stories centre on a dead girl getting revenge on another girl through a laptop.

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Confusingly they both feature a girl called Laura, although one is the tormentor and the other is the tormented.

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All their friends are not very nice, they both have a fat friend and a friend that is good with tech.

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But at least they get killed off one by one

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Both main characters have two boys interested in them for plot device purposes

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Both want to delete there facebook friendship but supernatural intervention prevents it.

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There will be a decent social medial movie in the future, I’m sure of it. But these two aren’t it.

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