Gerard Butler loves holding things

Gerard Butler may not have decided if he is Scottish, American or from a little island in the middle of the Atlantic that nobody else knows about but something he has decided on, is that he likes to hold stuff. Doesn’t matter what it is, dude likes to hold things.

Here he is getting religious by holding a bible. ‘I like god, you like god, look at the book’.



Here he is holding a cup, he looks so proud it is possible he made that cup himself or he really, really likes tea.



Here is Gerard Butler holding his belly in.



This is Gerard Butler pretending to hold an orb of thesulah.



This is Gerard Butler holding a microphone and wishing it was an ice cream cone.



This is Gerard Butler holding what at first glance was a giant postcard, but disappointingly is only google searches about himself. I’ve checked … they are a lot less interesting searches nowadays.



This is Gerard Butler holding a butt.



Here is Gerard Butler holding a pug. Not sure what Gerard is looking at in the distance over there but the pug is looking straight into your soul.



Here is Gerard Butler holding a sword of distraction to try and make himself super manly while wearing a kilt and pink sweater. It’s working, that’s a big sword.



This is Gerard Butler holding a brick, he also has a wicked case of indigestion too.


The Problem With Being A Model – Part 2

When you worked so hard to find your signature look for years then you finally find it, then realise where the inspiration came from.

kate winslet watch1.jpg


Much like Kate Winslet the best picnics are often the solo picnics (where you get to spoil yourself with cushions and fine china in a farmers field). Just look at the memories she is making right there.



Jessica Chastain might be having a good time at Australia Zoo but that kangaroo is sending distress signals with his eyes.



And those lion cubs with Julianne Moore are trying so hard to not look at the naked lady. I feel their embarrassment. Not quite sure how this sells the handbag.



Yeah this is just weird, playing saxophone in your pajamas or maybe this is normal when you’re in Germany and trying to learn musical instruments, I just don’t know.



If these two and these two are sisters isn’t this a bit like incest? Or am I reading this all wrong?



I imagine this is what you wear in the future when riding your robot horse to work (the photographer told Henry Cavill they would cgi the robo-horse in later, just like his Superman cape).



This is how you sell a handbag, ‘I love my handbag so much I just want to hug it all the time.’



Are Kate Winslet and Penelope Cruz in the next Nicholas Sparks adaption? It wouldn’t make much Nicholas Sparks particularly more interesting anyhow. Also apart from the massively oversized photoshopped arm doesn’t Benjamin Walker look a bit ladylike to you?  choice_ver2


I thought something was peaking between Judy Greers legs here, that wasn’t part of the dress. Please tell me you had to do a double take too?


What Jason Statham Movie have I just watched?

I bet you have never realised that by answering a few simple questions you can work out which Jason Statham movie you watched on TV late last night.

Does Jason Statham wear a hat?  The is the first question you need to ask? If the answer is yes  – as below – expendables-jason-hatExpendables, Safe, 13

expendables-3-hat-jasonExpendables 3, Parker, Gnomeo And Juliet

expendables-2-jason-hatExpendables 2, Wild Card, Homefront


Does he have any unusual body features (unusual for Jason Statham) ?

jason-in-london-jason-stathamLondon, Revolver, Death Race


Accessories of any kind?

bankjob-jason-stathamThe Bank Job, Lock Stock And Two Smoking Barrels, War


Unusual clothing?


Spy, Mechanic, Crank


Stuff that won’t work to isolate which  Jason Statham film you have watched are suits, guns, sunglasses, cars, muscles, angry pouty faces and terrible accents as they are in every Jason Statham movie.


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