War Dogs – review

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Miles Teller is a down on his luck 20 something in the mid-2000s, his luck changes when in gets involved in the business dealings of his old school friend (Jonah Hill), they end up making money taking small government contracts for weapons and the like but then they start approaching bigger government contracts and run into a spot of trouble.

War Dogs could be a companion piece to Pain & Gain, both based on true stories of unlikable people doing horrible things for selfish reasons but presented in a bright an colourful manner (blame Miami) and with a few joke thrown in.

War Dogs has obviously been influenced by Scarface and other stories featuring corrupt versions of the American Dream, which is successfully manages to pull off but doesn’t make the characters remotely likable enough to want to get away with their dodgy dealing nor does it make them villainous enough to want their downfall.

The ‘crossing Iraq with a truck full of guns’ scene is a highlight, its funny, tense and they are actually involved in arms dealing they are making money from. Jonah Hill also continues to impress with his dramatic rather than comedic roles, continuing from his roles in Moneyball and Wolf Of Wall Street.

The problem with War Dogs is that the lead characters don’t really get their appropriate comeuppance. Everything else in the movie we have kind of seen before.

Sylvester Stallone loves punching people

 

Much like David Hasselhoff who loves the the finger guns pose, Sylvester Stallone loves a pretend punch. He was been working the fake punch since the 70s and is still happily using the pose on the red carpet.

Here is Jason Momoa really getting into the vaudville routine of it all. (Sly appreciates a receptive face punch-e)

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Robert Downey Jr may look like he is having the time of his life but inside he is thinking nobody punches Iron Man, don’t you know who I am!

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I get the impression Sly sneaked this one in quickly before Robert De Niro could work out what was going on.

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Anything for a photo op, he’ll punch it.

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Slys motto in life, if in doubt aim for the chin. Or maybe he is just itching Jason Stathams chin.

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Michael B Jordan is not even out and out pretending he is okay with it, ‘if you punch my face again I will put you in a choke hold.’

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For a long time I looked at this photo and thought why does Sly even know Ronnie Corbett let alone want to punch him? Then I realised, that isn’t Ronnie Corbett at all. In any way.

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You have to be under 10 to be allowed a punch, and only under strict supervision.

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Actors love wearing earrings

Even though Harrison Ford has been wearing his single earring for at least a decade, I still get a shock and a frightening thought ‘what would I do if my granddad suddenly started wearing an earring?’

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It is something of a midlife crisis statement, yet not as expensive as a Harley Davidson (plus you have to get a licence for that, way too much effort.)

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Orlando Bloom really has blonde ambition at the moment. If showing the world your junk hasn’t got their attention then maybe some jewelry will do it. If a little hoop earring is what it takes to bag that engagement ring from Katy Perry then he will roll with it.

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Johnny Depp wears safety pins instead of earrings, I think this is because he can repair his suit/scarf/hat when it finally rips.

Johnny Depp

 

Another recent recruit to the world of earrings is Robert Pattinson. Clearly at the encouragement of his much cooler girlfriend or he lost a bet. Could have been worse it could have been matching tattoos.

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But for every new recruit one of the old guard takes out the ear bling for good. Colin Farrell always used to wear twin hoops. But just check out those newly naked ears.

Kahlil Gibran’s The Prophet Special Screening

 

Justin Timberlake has changed so much, it isn’t just the diamond studs for clean living lobes, but the grade one hair cut for straighteners, goatee for well groomed beard and hoodie for double breasted sweater. We won’t even mention the personalised necklace that at the same time declares a love of Pi.

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This is the really shocker, Will Smith, his face looks like there is something missing and it isn’t his smile or his facial hair, Will Smith has ditched his earrings. They may have been as steady fast and true part of Will Smiths persona but it looks like they are no more.

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